Climax of laziness

You won't believe it but my husband just called me on my mobile from upstairs (I'm sitting downstairs in the kitchen) to tell that he's not gonna drive our daughter to school, so I should go instead.

Men...

Human, all too human...

No, this is not about a masterpiece of the greatest mind (F.Nietzsche).
This is about a president of World Bank unduly promoting his female partner (see about her "hefty pay rise" etc. here) and then, when caught, saying something incomprehensive that "he had been in uncharted waters in his new job and would follow the recommendations proposed by the board".
So, do we still need "recommendations " for integrity?

Happy diet!

Only in USA 45 million people diet every year , spending billions of dollars for weight-loss programs. Obviously, with no much success.
The number of publications on dieting in the UK grows each year by hundreds and thousands. And, again, the number of obese people is still huge (actually, half of all adults in the UK are overweight and one in five are obese). So, million ways of losing weight can be found in book-stores and Internet . 90% of these methods (diets) are unrealistic and ineffective, another 9% are realistic but very complex and difficult in realisation, and only 1% seems to help.
I would like to contribute to the increase of that 1% to 1.1% by introducing my personal diet, which is:
- very simple to follow
- does not require any special effort
- does not restrict you from eating anything you like (that's the key point!)
- based on the combination of the control over your intake of calories, and various types of activities in which these calories are burnt at the time of the food intake or immediately afterwards (that's my revolution indeed).

Actually, all you need to know is:
- how many calories does your favorite food contain and
- what is the energy-consumption rate of your favorite physical activity.
The rest is up to you and your imagination.

Below are just a few samples to start with:

Sample 1. An average apple contains 80 Kcal that is equivalent to 15 min of moderate-pace walking (or 1 hour sitting on a sofa - but that's boring!). So, chew a fruit while walking along the beach (you will clean your teeth at the same time...)

Sample 2. An average pork-chop contains 500 Kcal which is equivalent of 40 min running down a slope. So, after delicious lunch with friends in, say, Psilo Dendro run back home to Limassol, and you remain full (of joy and energy, of course), fit and happy.

Sample 3 - for chocoholics (my favorite). Most dietologists are in a strong opposition to any form of pleasure (that's why they look so miserable!). My diet is a revolutionary new approach (as I've said before) and allows you to eat chocolate and sweets with no limits provided that you burn them properly .
Take a piece of a soft chocolate cake and spread evenly and slowly over a man's body. Then, engaging different groups of muscules, clean the surface thoroughly and - that's important! - at a low speed (thus increasing a tension of muscules). Don't leave an inch unattended - all calories eaten should be burnt!
This exercise is a breathtaking cocktail of effective body training and delicious treat and usually takes from 600 to 1000 Kcal (1 1/2 to 2 pieces of cake) per hour, depending on the size of the object and intensity of the work-out.

P.S. I'm thinking about writing a book myself, just don't have time right now. Also, I have to practice all possible techniques first to give a proper guidance to my readers...

А потом они недовольны...

Это портрет мужчины обыкновенного (гуманоид, с претензиями). Я не про холиманна, которого не знаю, я про его creation - потому что лично знакома, и не с одним.
Особенно мне понравилось:
"Но мне так лень рассказывать, как тебе всё это идёт ... Ну собсно, на этой лениво-позитивной ноте, я с отбываю в храп!"
Вот так они и храпят позитивно большую часть времени.
Так и хочется дополнить: "А мне так лень сказать, как же ты задолбал своей ленью... Ну собсно, на этой ноте я отбываю".

Они...

Из якобы юмористического монолога Семена Альтова:

- Кому мы вещаем о том, почему не стали, кем хотели, а стали тем, что есть? И кого в этом виним?
А они в это время одной рукой стирают и гладят наши рубашки, второй - готовят нам еду, а третьей воспитывают наших нерадивых детей.
И все это для чего? Для того, чтобы создать семью, свить гнездышко, в центре которого - он, Мужчина.
Так выпьем же за цвет человечества. За тебя, Вася!
***
Кто-нибудь себя узнал?
По-моему, очень жизненно.
***

Attention on the roads, please!

I was rather busy the last weeks and didn't post anything, but today I'm going to write something which may help (in a way) to prevent the road accidents on our streets.

I was walking (innocent like an angel), thinking nothing. Just remembered the last post from my friend which contained a lot of pleasant words and feelings, and a happy smile (I would think that was a rather stupid happy smile) spread across my face.

I had to cross the road, so I'd stopped and turned my head, still smiling, to check all clear and suddenly locked my eyes with a smart guy on the motorbike who also stopped and turned his head to check his way on the crossroad. Before I'd changed face, he lost his balance and fell down from the bike (actually, together with his heavy bike) still looking in my eyes and smiling as well!

Jesus Christ, that was so funny!

However, it's not safe to stare at girls around when driving. I think :)

Life is fair after all...

Sunny day, light breeze, nice mood… We are walking down the street with Ksusha, chatting and smiling and obviously being very happy after visiting a couple of trendy shops. The day couldn’t be better unless…

Just when we passed a coffee shop where a group of lazy young Cypriots sat slumped in the comfortable armchairs, talking, the wind blew stronger and my skirt (you know, that type of “one button only”) flew open instantly making the conversation at the coffee shop stop and five pairs of sunglasses gaze at us.

“Mum, c’mon, they saw everything” – my daughter’s voice was sarcastic, - “even the bruise up there”.

While I was trying to figure out why I would have a bruise up there, one of the guys – whom I’d never seen before – leaped up from the chair and ran towards us with a broad smile and his hands opened for a hug.

“Hum, a stranger… It looks like he knows Ksusha”, - I thought seeing her smiling to him, but then he took my hand and kissed it passionately.

“Hello, how are you?” – he was so happy to see us (her? me?) that I’d started feeling sort of, OK, stupid?

Maybe that was a rather straightforward way to make a conversation with two beautiful girls (one of them in a school uniform, by the way)? Am I missing something? And why the hell I have that bruise?!

Thank God, in a minute we remembered that he was the guy who fixed a broken door lock at my office two months ago. Such a memory, ha? And such an after-service support!

Of course we had been invited to have a cup of coffee etc. but left with our most charming smiles and promises about “the other day”.

And then Ksusha told me indignantly: “Mum, it’s unfair. You were with ME! Why was he so happy to see YOU?!”

“O, my poor girl,” – I was going to say, - “life is unfair sometimes…” but suddenly a better thought had sparkled in my head: “Life is fair, because this will be my rrrevennnge for that stupid math and those stupid equations which spoiled my weekend and made me feel an idiot”.

We forgot the guy and went on with our nice time together, one of us just a little bit happier than five minutes ago.