I'm a proud parent

After one year of study Biomedical Sciences at the University of Glasgow, our daughter has made her first important achievement - she's been awarded the Dobbie Smith Prize for 2009 which is a great honour for her and, obviously, for us as her loving parents.

Well done, Ksen!

Off to Glasgow

I am the happiest woman in the world.
No, we are the happiest parents in the world.
Because, after all the pressure of the last two years and especially the last two months when our daughter got finished her A levels and impatiently waited for the exams results, we've finally got the answer.

And it is a "Yes"! She's got an unconditional firm offer from the University of Glasgow, Faculty of Biomedical & Life Sciences.

We've been there several times and visited various facilities and faculties, including the medical school's Open Day where students-to-be could observe the process of studying and practice their curing skills a bit (see a photo above).

Beginning September we'll go together to Glasgow and get her well accomodated and equipped for the new and unconditionally fascinating life as a grown-up kid. Sorry, a grown-up full-time student.

I love and always loved Scotland. Now I have a chance to get there way more often. Though, I doubt Ksenia will be too excited about it...

Yet another page to be turned...

This is it. Our daughter has finished school.

Today was her last exam (Chemistry).
When I was driving her this morning, I'd asked: "So, how do you feel?" She'd started saying something, her voice was faultering, and then she just waved her hand and looked away from me at the window: "Mum, please..."

I remember my last days at school, those long days been full of inexplicable urge and anticipation of something huge and wonderful just coming straight on me from outside the open school gates. And I also new that I'd be missing something and I'd never ever get it in my life again. Missing a lot, actually. My school friends, summer camps, my naivety and ackward experiences of love... And above all that feeling of complete freedom and irresponsibility, 'cos responsibility - that's for adults, and the big adults' life just loomed somewhere in the distance yet uninteresting and boring.

I'm proud of our little girl and wish her that the big adults' life will stay at safe distance for some more time.

P.S. Just to mark this life-turning event, we went to Debenhams and bought Ksenia a new swim suit. Summer is in )) And no more exams now!

Скромное обаяние

Предыстория:
накануне Нового Года говорю Ксюше о том, что много денег потратили на подарки,
надо откладывать на посторойку нового дома,

- ...Так что нам придется в ближайшее время затянуть пояса.

Едем в машине, я рассказываю, как сегодня ездили на участок и при помощи специалистов и GPS замеряли границы, и что участок оказался даже больше, чем мы предполагали, и можно будет сделать бассейн... нет, два бассейна как в водном парке, со "ступенькой" между ними. Ксюша:
- Только надо быть осторожными, потому что у нас кошки. У одной девочки из моего класса тоже большой бассейн во дворе, и водопад, и колодец, так туда одна кошечка упала - и все...
- Не волнуйся! У нас будет всего два бассейна и маленький водопад между ними.
- Ну мам, ты даешь! Это называется "затянуть пояса"? ВСЕГО два бассейна (смеется)...

Каждый год для Ксюши - новый (2)

- Ксюша, какие у тебя желания на 2008-й год? Чего бы тебе больше всего хотелось?
- (ни секунды не раздумывая) Сдать экзамен по вождению, чтобы мне дали машину и я, наконец, стала independent.

Затем, после короткой паузы:

• Чтобы у нас было много денег
• Похудеть
• Сдать все экзамены и выбрать университет, который я сама захочу
• Начать жить самостоятельно

Да... Список очевидно составлен в порядке приоритетов, только вот для нас последние Ксюшины приоритеты как раз самые важные.
Очень хочется, чтобы наш птенчик был счастливым. Только грустно, что время летит так быстро.
Нам с Димой предстоит вскоре проводить много времени вдвоем. Посмеялись...

Да, это будет действительно новый год для нас всех.

Ksusha@pricol.com.cy

Очередной перл нашего ребенка.

Проходим мимо магазина, на витрине которого стоят чучела кошек, собак, меховые тигры и т.д.

К.: Смотри, какие хорошенькие! Я тоже хочу большую белку сделать. Из тебя.
Я: Это как?! Я правильно поняла - ты хочешь меня убить, выпотрошить, натолкать ватой... (даже голос сорвался).
К.: Ну да. Ты будешь выглядеть так же, как и сейчас, только молчать.

................................

Каждый год для Ксюши - новый

Много лет записываю особо удачные изречения нашего дитяти. Некоторые из них аккурат вокруг новогодних дат:

1992
- Мама, смотри - на столе мандариночка!
- И что?
- А потом она будет у меня в животике лежать.

1995
- Зачем вы отдали меня в школу?! Так бы у нас были деньги свободные.
- Откуда?
- Мы бы не отдали столько денег на эту огромную школу. Лучше на такую же огромную елку с игрушками!

1998
Уговаривает лечь с ней спать в новогоднюю ночь:
- Мамы всегда греют детей по декабрям.

2001
Беседуют взрослые. Ксюша неподалеку занимается своими делами. Моя сестра спрашивает:
- Лан, где вы собираетесь встречать Новый Год?
- Дома, всей семьей.
- Если хотите, можете оставить у нас Ксюшу на пару дней, а сами устроите 31-го романтический вечер на двоих и все такое...
Сердитый голос ребенка из-за спины:
- Эти романтические вечера - как они меня достали! Особенно вчера.

2002
Накануне нового года (очень умно!) Дима купил новые весы. Все пошли взвешиваться. Ксюша увидела цифру - и в слезы. Папа успокаивает:
- Ничего страшного. Ты теперь знаешь свой вес, и если он тебе не нравится, ты можешь его изменить. С завтрашнего дня начнешь диету...
- (сквозь слезы) Ничего не получится!!!
- Почему?
- Мама делает "Оливье"!

2004
- Мама, а ты бы хотела в Новый год на один день превратиться в мужчину?
- (с удивлением) Нет, а зачем?
- Ну, не знаю. А ты бы хотела один день побыть лошадью?
- Нет.
- А кошкой?
- Нет, я не хочу.
- Ну почему? Это ведь только на один день! Со стопроцентным возвратом.
- Не знаю... Кошкой, может быть, и побыла бы...
- А ты бы хотела на один день превратиться в миллионера?!
- Еще бы (смеюсь).
- А что бы ты купила на миллион?
- Дом, машину BMW, подарки всем своим родным. Хотя... Ведь это только на один день, а потом все вернется назад...
- Нет, мама, не бойся! Все , что ты успеешь купить, останется у тебя!

И еще парочка перлов на тему, как Ксюша из года в год любит свою маму:

2005
- Мам, ты такая маленькая. Большие глаза, зубы. Все время где-то копошишься. Естественно, ты похожа на крысу. Ой! (смеется)... ну или на медвежонка. Ты действительно похожа на медведя. Вспомни, их показывали по телевизору: как они бегают, катаются по траве, шерсть такая красивая и всякие там "уци-пуци". А на самом деле посмотри, какие у них лапы! Это страшные животные.

2007
Ксюша готовит на обед суши. Я:
- Так, сейчас заварю себе зеленый чай, чтобы быть, как говорится, in style.
Ксюша:
- Ты не можешь быть in style.
- Почему?
- Потому что у тебя очень круглые глаза. Очень круглые.

(А по-моему, вовсе нет! Но на всякий случай ношу защитные очки :))

Economies of scale

No no no, I'm not going to elaborate on the economic theories over here :)

It's just another fine day when I ought to exersise all my powers over our poor daugther Ksusha to go through yet another fascinating (I wish so!) chapter of the study book.

All my powers... It's not only about brainpower, persuasiveness, motivation etc. It's more about a physical power to drag the kid in the kitchen, set in front of me and pull through a few pages of extremely boring text and exersises - extremely boring for her, needless to say, 'cos for me... nevermind.

So, I've made my best to get well prepared. Being unsatisfied by the contents of the chapter and its presentation, I've spent an hour to make a beautiful handout which covered a wide area from economies of scale to organisational structure and as far as to the Porter's value chain model (ok, it might be outside their syllabus but it's so interesting, - I thought).

Also, I answered all the multiple choice questions (to give her correct answers for check-up) and made a plan for the essay which she should be able to write upon the completion of that chapter.

And that was it. Ksusha was strong, responsive and patient in her resistance, so was I... because I had to re-explain some passages two or three times and she had to stop me every now and then from getting, say, too emotional :)

I thought, we never finish... But we did. After three hours of brainwrestling Ksusha answered correctly all the questions and went on with the essay. She was writing industriously, thinking over something, striking out some lines and replacing them by others with her neat handwriting. Page after page was getting covered by her beautiful script... Even cats froze in awe.

I was watching all this, quitely admiring my clever kid and being slightly proud of myself ("oh, I'm not so bad mother after all, help my girl, give support" and other selfish stuff like that).

Ksusha stopped writing again for a minute and I said: "Look, I understand - it's not easy to find the proper wording to formulate your thoughts. Just try to make it easier - like you are writing a letter to me".

And her answer killed me instantly:
-If I was writing a letter to you, I would just say: "Mum, I hate you".

That would be much easier indeed, but is this economies of scale?

Life is fair after all...

Sunny day, light breeze, nice mood… We are walking down the street with Ksusha, chatting and smiling and obviously being very happy after visiting a couple of trendy shops. The day couldn’t be better unless…

Just when we passed a coffee shop where a group of lazy young Cypriots sat slumped in the comfortable armchairs, talking, the wind blew stronger and my skirt (you know, that type of “one button only”) flew open instantly making the conversation at the coffee shop stop and five pairs of sunglasses gaze at us.

“Mum, c’mon, they saw everything” – my daughter’s voice was sarcastic, - “even the bruise up there”.

While I was trying to figure out why I would have a bruise up there, one of the guys – whom I’d never seen before – leaped up from the chair and ran towards us with a broad smile and his hands opened for a hug.

“Hum, a stranger… It looks like he knows Ksusha”, - I thought seeing her smiling to him, but then he took my hand and kissed it passionately.

“Hello, how are you?” – he was so happy to see us (her? me?) that I’d started feeling sort of, OK, stupid?

Maybe that was a rather straightforward way to make a conversation with two beautiful girls (one of them in a school uniform, by the way)? Am I missing something? And why the hell I have that bruise?!

Thank God, in a minute we remembered that he was the guy who fixed a broken door lock at my office two months ago. Such a memory, ha? And such an after-service support!

Of course we had been invited to have a cup of coffee etc. but left with our most charming smiles and promises about “the other day”.

And then Ksusha told me indignantly: “Mum, it’s unfair. You were with ME! Why was he so happy to see YOU?!”

“O, my poor girl,” – I was going to say, - “life is unfair sometimes…” but suddenly a better thought had sparkled in my head: “Life is fair, because this will be my rrrevennnge for that stupid math and those stupid equations which spoiled my weekend and made me feel an idiot”.

We forgot the guy and went on with our nice time together, one of us just a little bit happier than five minutes ago.

Kids...

This should happen sooner or later…

Sunday noon. I’m sitting slump in the sofa, enjoying fresh fruit and lazy reading, the air conditioner softly murmuring somewhere in the distance… Time is passing slowly and without any purpose… Paradise…

Who said without a purpose? My daughter’s voice brought me back to the REAL life instantly: “Mum, you said you were excellent in math at school. Please have a look; I can’t get these equations simplified.”

And she produced a study book of Heinemann Modular Mathematics where the most frightening equations were carefully outlined for beloved and clever Mum’s explanations…

She made my day.

Most of that stuff was easy for me, but then there were a couple of equations I couldn’t make to the answer given at the end of the book (yes, I have to confess that I’d consulted with the answers under a limp excuse that “I don’t want to confuse you and give you the information you shouldn’t have at THIS level” – how clever of me, ha? And very “persuasive”!)

So, after 15 minutes of struggling with equations to get those stupid answers, and being unable to get them, Ksusha said: “It’s OK. I will ask the teacher ‘morrow”. I felt that I had never in my life been put in a bigger disgrace than this one. But what was worse is that after Ksusha left with her horrendous study book and cunning smile on her face, I couldn’t get back that wonderful feeling that “time is passing slowly…” (see above).

Needless to say that after a few minutes of trying to concentrate on the book I’d read 30 minutes before, I found a piece of paper and made heavy weather of those stupid equations till I’d got the correct answers (bloody answers, to be precise).

So, if somebody is bored with life and needs an external stimulator, this is a perfect recipe: get kids, love them and bother with their troubles and problems – and you will have a quality time 24/7.

How well do I deal with my teen?

While visiting this, I couldn't resist to do a couple of tests concerning two issues important to every parent: knowledge of the teens culture and ability to deal with a teen in conflict.

So, the first test was not as easy as it seemed (5 questions only) because it included questions like "What is special K?" and, of course, I didn't have a slightest idea. Nevertheless, I've managed to score 60% having correctly answered a question "What is Korn" and other two - not so bad!

The second test was much more serious and it was a challenging task, indeed. Why? Because for each of 10 questions there were only two options for answers, and being "old" enough to have a teen child you could obviously figure out which answer is "correct".

I've tried to be honest with myself.

The most difficult question was:

When your teen is angry and hostile, do you escalate the drama or do you work to calm the situation and deal with it when your teen is more under control?

I've opted for the second part, although my guilty conscience didn't let me to make this choice easily - on the contrary... Yeah, the truth is that there were a couple... ok ten - maximum fifteen accounts when (I wish) I could be more calm, thoughtful and patient. But look, guys, I'm also young and have temper, frustrations...just bad days! It's so easy to make wise suggestions like "let the situation diffuse and deal with it when he or she is calmer". Try and do it when your teen tends to get out of control AT LEAST three times a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That makes a good 1095 units of sustainability-tesitng per annum, and I wish your manage to get through without casualties.

Anyway, at the end of ends my score was as high as 90%! Which means that I'm "doing well communicating with my teen when there are conflicts". Wishful thinking?

I can see my lovely daughter reading this post, smiling and nodding disapprovingly, and I hope she won't punish me too much for trying to make things better than they are (sometimes). Because I love her very much and try to be a good Mum.

After all, I KNOW what Korn is, ha?